Today, Kim and I were emailing about Kendal, and my plan to teach her the names of all the States and US Territories and the US Presidents using my coin bear collections. In the midst of that conversation, Kim asked me how my mom was this week. Hmmmm. I thought about it for a minute and realized I hadn’t been to see her this week. And YEP I know why. My cousin JoAnne visited my mom last Sunday, and Tim went twice to take her some prescriptions and chat with her.
So it was easy to say to myself that she had enough visitors this week and I’ll go next week instead. But of course that’s only half the story …. my half-truth. The entire truth is that I didn’t go because I was afraid that my mom wouldn’t remember my name again. My mom didn’t remember JoAnne’s name or who she was last week, but did remember that her name began with the letter J. JoAnne took fruit and pound cake, so of course my mom was busy eating and not focused at all on the name of the person who brought the goodies. After not remembering Tim a few months ago, she did remember him on both of his visits this week which thrilled him of course.
So, the question is will I visit my mom this week? YES I will, but not without some trepidation. What will happen???? Who knows!!! I’m really glad Kim asked me about my mom, because I may have ignored the issue for another week saying I was too busy with work and other stuff. Fact is, I was devastated by the fact that my mom didn’t remember who I was. But now that the truth is out, I’m ready to visit again. Whatever happens I’ll follow the advice of a great friend who often tells me to allow myself to “feel what I feel”. I’m praying that works.
The great thing is, I’m pushing hard against Dementia, planning to get as many people as possible to recognize this horrific disease during the November for National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month. Love you mom, see you this week!!
Conquering Life; Love and Dialogue with Loretta Veney 
Not remembering you and other family members is heart breaking. But it could be worse, she could could call you by some other name or swear at you like ‘a sailor’ as the saying goes. Had a friend who’s mother cursed at her whenever she visited and call her all kinds of nasty names. We believe (hope) she didn’t know what she was saying and to whom.