We’ve all been given a clean slate in life at some point. It’s a chance for us to erase the past and start over, hopefully avoiding some of the pitfalls we’d encountered before.
Today, I came home from work and walked into what I’d call a clean slate. The renovation of my house that has been going on since early May and has progressed to the point when the upstairs of the house is being painted a beige color in prep for potential renters arriving.
My reaction to the color beige was instantaneous!! What happened to the orange walls in my old bedroom, and Tim’s prized burgundy and gold walls in our office in honor of his beloved football team and the bright color in our dining room? I kept blinking as if the colored walls would return if I blinked enough times!! What had I done? Had I erased all of the color from my life with Tim?
I thought I was ready for this but I clearly was not. Three painters were smiling at me as if waiting for me to give the seal of approval for their great work of getting the walls primed. But I couldn’t give my approval right then… all I could see were beige walls, a proverbial clean slate to my happy life in bright colors with Tim! I quickly ran down to my new area in the basement of my house and cried!!
After a few minutes, I looked around at all the family photos in my really cool new space. My three decades of memories in this house started to flood back!! Thank God!! I started to relax, I took some deep breaths and I went back upstairs.
The painters had begun to paint again. I told them what a great job they were doing. Then I stood back and just looked around. I could still smile at the memories we made in Kendal’s room, and at the dining room table during Scrabble tournaments even if the paint color was different now.
I realize that the new walls are just that, NEW. They don’t represent an eraser as I felt when I first walked in. Now I believe that those walls are a blank canvas ready for me to add my own color for the next part of my life. It may be messy and frustrating, funny and sad, yet also filled with love and joy! My blog title, Conquering Life says it all for me at this moment…I may not know what the future holds for me but I’m going to conquer it like I do everything else! I can’t wait to see what bright colors will eventually fill my life and replace this boring beige! Maybe this clean slate will be a great thing after all! And Tim would definitely approve!