Yesterday I Actually Wished I Had Dementia!

I’m glad my Mom doesn’t understand what happened yesterday the US Capitol. I wish I could forget it. At first I felt physically sick watching the events unfold on tv, and when I thought about my Mom who was always anxious, I know that if she didn’t have dementia she would have been terrified. Then at 2pm yesterday when I got off from work I was a little afraid, as I needed to leave my home and drive the 24 miles to Tysons Corner, VA for my final appointment with my endocrinologist of more 25 years. Dr. Tanen joined my team of eight doctors in 1995 who were in the middle of the thirteen year battle to save my life. I had already had 15 surgeries by then and Dr. Tanen’s primary role at first was to remove several nodules from my thyroid without surgery. We used to laugh about the fact that my thyroid is one of the few organs I actually have left. He was the youngest member of my medical team and we were the same age. Over these 25 years we also became friends. Yet, I almost cancelled my appointment yesterday because as an African-American I wasn’t excited about leaving my home with the chaos going on in DC.

I went and I’m glad I did. He was the last member of my medical team still practicing medicine and we had an amazing visit. I’m grateful for the role he played in my life as part of Team Loretta! He had a fabulous bedside manner, never made you feel inadequate for asking questions about your medical care and is just a wonderful person. When he closes down his practice in March, I hope that he and his family thoroughly enjoy retirement. They certainly deserve it.

When I returned home, the chaos was still occurring in the Capitol in DC. I was exhausted, felt physically ill and I cried. Last night at 8:30 pm I attended the nightly virtual prayer service at my church, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church Capitol Hill, which I also help lead a couple of times each week. That service always prepares me for rest and a peaceful night, but last night that inner peace was hard to come by. Peace was eventually restored at the Capitol of course, but yesterday will be etched in our history forever. Yesterday was only one of a couple of times I actually wished I had dementia so I could forget what we all saw.


6 thoughts on “Yesterday I Actually Wished I Had Dementia!

  1. Dearest Loretta,

    Be safe, remain safe. Be well, remain well.

    This, too, shall pass. There is nothing in human history – whether the best or worst of times – that abides forever. Now, as people of faith, we believe that Love abides forever, for Love is of God, aye, Love is God. I pray that we all retain and maintain that faith.

    Love and peace

  2. Dear Loretta,

    I thought about you so often yesterday as I watched what was happening in DC. I knew you were probably at home and safe, but I also knew your heart would be breaking. I’m so grateful that you had the comfort of a wonderful final visit with Dr. Tanen. God bless him; he sounds like reassurance in the face of the awful chaos of yesterday. I’m so glad he has been in your life for such a long time and has cared for you so well and so faithfully.

    Perhaps yesterday helped to once and for all rip the mask of respectability from an era in American history that has been cynically masquerading for the last five years as just a normal part of American politics. May we move into the future sadder but wiser about the costs of pretending there can ever be any compromise with the necessity for unconditional equality and justice for all Americans and for deep-seated honesty and integrity in how the nation’s work is done.

    Take care, my dear Loretta.

    Much love,


    • Thank you my friend!!! Happy New Year!

      I’ve been saying to myself all day that I’m so glad I went to that appointment and got to say goodbye to such a great doctor and a great man!

      As for the chaos, I’m actually still processing it like so many others, and praying a lot like as Paul mentioned…. it’s just craziness. I’ve tried to stay away from much of the news today, but the headlines stream across my phone so that hasn’t worked that well. BUT it’s a gorgeous sunny day here in DC and I’m trying to focus on the positive and all of the goodness that I hope 2021 will bring to all of us!!

      LOVED your Holiday card and thank you so much for including me!

      Much love back to you my friend!! We will all hang in there together!


  3. Lord have mercy upon you my friend. On Monday we saw pure evil, demonic forces in our atmosphere. A spirit of anger raged in me, but I heard God say ‘ vengeance is mine’ This morning, a few hours ago, the spirit of God gave a friend of mine this passage of scripture. Her spirit was vexed as she watched the evil taking place. Habakkuk 1:13. Be safe and well my friend! 🙏🏾❤️


    • Thank you my dear friend!! Such a crazy time we are living in!!!! Wow! Thank you so much for the prayer!! I’ve been praying almost nonstop since the 6th!!!

      Stay well my friend!! Much love!!!

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