Bruised, But Not Broken!

I went to bed late on the night of January 16th because I was having so much fun making final preparations for the full week ahead of presentations and LEGO events. Unfortunately, I wasn’t actually IN the bed for very long! I had been very worried about Mom’s decline since I had last seen her on December 30th before the second group home lockdown caused by the pandemic. That worry turned into a very bad dream on the night of the 16th. I dreamed that my Wonder Woman Mom was dying and I was trying to get to the group home a few miles from me before she died. In my dream I was running and my neighbors were running after me to determine what was wrong. The next thing I knew I was on the floor of my bedroom along with almost everything that had been on my nightstand. I had actually fallen out of my bed for the first time in my entire life. I tried to blame it on someone else being in the room with me and pushing me out of the bed, but there was no burglar or anyone else in the room BUT ME! I immediately felt intense pain in my left side and even in the dark I could see and feel that I was laying on top of my air purifier. I was relieved that I wasn’t bleeding but the pain scared me. Trying not to panic I grabbed my headphones and quickly turned on the spa station to calm myself down before even trying to get up. It was 1:30am so I definitely didn’t want to call anyone if I didn’t need to. I could breathe, though a deep breath hurt like crazy but I was pretty sure my ribs weren’t broken. I listened to a few songs before getting up and deciding what to do next. I got back in bed and slept off and on for a couple of hours before finally getting up.

Later that morning on January 17th I got a call from the group home confirming what I was already worried about and had resulted in my bad dream. Mom was declining and having greater difficulty swallowing even the Ensure that she loves. That same afternoon because I was still in a lot of pain from my fall I went to Patient First to confirm what I suspected, that my ribs were bruised but not broken. Even now, more than a week later I’m still in a lot of pain from the ribs every day, but at least I can sleep thanks to my adjustable Sleep Number Bed! The last week has been a blur with my presentations and LEGO events, phone calls with Mom’s caregiver Janet and my visits with Mom, which are an absolute BLESSING! One of the most difficult parts of this week was being in the room on Monday while the hospice nurse examined Mom. We are keeping her comfy and ensuring that she’s not in any pain. That said, there is still so much JOY in Wonder Woman… I still get the “HELLO” when I come in, and the “Bye Bye” when I leave. I fill her room with laughter and Joy while I’m there and Janet is giving Mom all of the love and attention she needs when I’m not there! The most amazing part of all this for me is that even though she’s getting much weaker and can no longer pull her LEGO bricks apart or put them together, she can still wrap her fingers around them and push them around her blanket, and she even smiles while doing it.

We all know how this will end, but as I look back on the amazing journey during this 16 years since her dementia diagnosis, there are so many incredible moments of joy that I will NEVER forget. I’m writing this post because so many of you have been on this journey with us and have inspired us with your comments, love and support. When that day comes when my Wonder Woman Mom is no longer with us, because of all the lessons I’ve learned from her about “carrying on no matter what” I will be very bruised but not broken. I know you all will be right there with me! Much love to you all and to my Wonder Woman!

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