Traveling, Sharing, Living and Loving!

I can’t believe it’s been almost two months since I’ve written a blog post! But wow have I been busy and some of the time was a blur as I moved from place to place. In the ten days after the Kaiser event from my last post, I appeared on four podcasts hosted by awesome women and participated in two panels about clinical trials.

Then it was off to Atlanta at the end of March to the On Aging Conference for what was supposed to be a ninety-minute presentation called Living Creatively with Dementia with Emily Kearns from Dementia Friendly Baltimore County. Unfortunately things didn’t go as planned and we were not in a presentation room at all, but a huge ballroom with two dozen other groups of speakers who also believed they were giving 90 minute presentations. BUT Emily and I made the best of the crazy situation and while Emily found chairs for our “resource table” and shuffled people in and out of the seats, I led four 15 minute mini-sessions of LEGO Serious Play to illustrate how I use it with people with dementia and their caregivers. Our 75 minutes on the fly was a HUGE success and showed that we could conquer everything thrown at us! Even better, a person who attended one of those sessions awarded me a huge LEGO Serious Play contract job for this coming November! Sometimes even when things don’t go as planned there’s still a great outcome if you find a way to overcome great challenges!

After Atlanta I had family time with the kids for a Friday Movie night and then took Kendal the following weekend to the White House Garden Tour, a first for both of us and we had a blast!!

I gave a presentation for Morgan State University’s Center for Urban Health Disparities Research and Innovation in Baltimore on using LEGO bricks with those with dementia, and led two Wednesday Club Memory Sessions for the participants in the very successful Sibley Hospital Program. I was also able to introduce LEGO Serious Play to several new groups 1) a Legacy Friday night event for the family of a healthcare networking colleague 2) a fellow Prince George’s County resident whose wife was seeking an activity that would hold his attention for longer than 5 minutes (he played for 2 hours) and 3) for the great residents of one of my favorite group homes, JK House of Grace! Each session was unique and full of fun, laughter and both old and new memories were made.

Then it was off to the Eastern Shore for the Stories Love Music Board Meeting and I was able to stay the for the entire weekend for fun at Mike and (fellow board member) Mary Ellen’s B&B. After the Board meeting we headed off to Assateague State Park and saw lots of horses and got lots of steps in on the beach and along the gorgeous trails. What a fun weekend that was!

It was then time to enjoy the first camping trip of the season with my RVing Women sisters and we had a blast! It was a great rest period too in preparation for two upcoming trips! My sister / friend Kris Lopez made one of my dreams come true of adding a LEGO demo at the end of my presentation called Building Joyful Caregiver Experiences with Humility, Hope and Humor by assembling 500 little LEGO kits with very little notice. Three hundred of those LEGO kits were for the Arizona Assisted Living Association Conference participants. I had intended to go sightseeing when I arrived in Phoenix but the resort was so beautiful I decided to stay there for the entire conference and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was an amazing conference with lots of sessions over three days and my session was so much fun ( as you can see from the audience holding up the LEGO models that they built on what they learned from my presentation) that I received the only standing ovation of the conference. The energy in that room was some of the best I’ve ever experienced!

I was home from Phoenix for an entire 8 hours before I had to speak at the 30th Anniversary Caregiver Conference in Charles County Maryland. The other 200 of the LEGO kits that Kris prepared were for this group, and like the group in Phoenix they enjoyed the exercise immensely too!

Then it was family time with the Lopez family and we trekked to upstate New York to spread Kris’ son Bobby’s ashes after his death from a brain tumor last September. We stayed in a gorgeous B&B next to a huge waterfall and got some hiking in too. I am thrilled I was able to be with my family during that time!

I was home long enough to do a load of laundry before speaking at Making a Difference in the Lives of People With Dementia Conference in York, PA! I’ve spoken there several times and it is always a fabulous time, and I get to spend the night with my Schmid family friends before the conference!

At the end of the conference I got the best treat ever!! My friend Alison took me from York to Shrewsbury which was on my way back to Maryland to a former bank and library turned coffee, baked goods and ice cream shop that’s one of the best I’ve ever been in. The ambiance is incredible and we ate our ice cream in what used to be the vault of the bank!! WOW!!

My last event prior two my two full days off this weekend was for Iona Senior Services in DC! I led their Support Group in a great LEGO Serious Play session and it was truly one of the most powerful and emotional sessions I’ve done. I’m now enjoying my time off with my second favorite passion of writing!

I wish I had tracked my air and driving miles over the last 7 weeks but I didn’t, but suffice it to say I put in a lot of miles and hours and I learned not to go so long between blog posts! I strive to be more like my friend Paul Roberts Abernathy (whose blog I love) because he adds to his blog frequently and keeps them much shorter than mine! In some ways I’m glad I waited this long because it demonstrates that though I worked and traveled a lot, I also saw a lot of awesome sights and experienced total relaxation in some gorgeous environments both indoors and outside! I learned so much over this time about myself and others and literally met hundreds of new friends! I got to spend special time with family where we shared food, fellowship and grief and showed each other unconditional love! For me it was all the perfect blend of Traveling, Sharing Living, and Loving!

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Thriving After 60 In My Own Backyard!

On March 11 I experienced two new things…Being the Keynote Speaker at an event in Prince Georges County, Maryland where I live, and working for the first time ever with the Health Care giant Kaiser Permanente. This event called Thriving After 60 (TA60) came about thanks to a recommendation from Positive Aging’s Steve Gurney! I was really excited because the theme of the event was right up my alley – Engage, Enlighten, Empower! During a meeting with Victoria, the Executive Events Manager I was asked to speak about Mental Health and the Caregiver that would include a focus on the importance of self-care for our mental health so my final product was based on my recent research into mental health and caregiving and parts from my own journey with my sister and Mom.

I shared with Victoria that I’d arrive at 8:30am to get all set up for the 10am start of the event, and when I arrived at the Marriott Hotel and Conference Center thirty minutes from my home I was surprised at how large the ballroom was! Also surprising was the fact that people had already arrived for the event. There was much activity buzzing in the ballroom with continental breakfast being served while the talented hotel staff hooked up my laptop, attached the microphone and delivered a brief instruction on the clicker / laser pointer.

I walked around the ballroom and met lots of participants as they enjoyed their juice, coffee, pastries and bagels. Many people I met were very excited to see a keynote speaker who looked like them, others had driven more than two hours to participate in the sessions. As the ballroom quickly filled up I was thrilled to see most every ethnicity represented and I happily posed for more selfies with people since the beginning of COVID! I was so happy to see that many people also brought the person they were caring for with them and many of them wanted to hug me!

With the ballroom almost totally filled, the event began with an amazing woman named Prisna who led participants with lively chair exercises and she was totally awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed giving the keynote and everyone was totally engaged! There was lots of laughter, hand raising and clapping and lots of head nodding too! Afterwards, many people stood up to cheer for me and I cheered for them and the superhero job they are doing on a daily basis!

The response I received after my speech was amazing and everyone shared how inspiring and empowering it was for them and they felt more hopeful about aging and caring for themselves as well! Lots of people shared their caregiver stories and asked questions and I hung out with them as others left the ballroom to attend the breakout sessions. I had planned on attending the session on Solo Aging since I am definitely going to be aging alone, BUT I decided to catch the next session after lunch rather than leave in the middle of someone’s story. Some of the stories were heartbreaking and I tried to point them to the services they needed! I met new friends, including a few who live within blocks of me! I love that I was able to connect with folks who now know they can call on me if necessary!

I had lunch at my table with folks I’d met earlier in the morning, and they all shared how much they LOVED my speech and how proud they were that I was their tablemate! I loved hearing their stories too and I will definitely stay in touch with them! There was an awesome DJ who played great music during lunch and lots of hand dancing and line dancing too!! These folks know how to have fun at an event and I’m thankful I got to witness the Thriving After 60 crowd in person!

After more talking and some dancing I did make it to the afternoon session of Solo Aging and it was full of lots of information that I needed! The outstanding panel session led by Steve Gurney was the perfect end to an unforgettable day! Everyone knows how much I love to travel but it was absolutely WONDERFUL not to have to drive or fly to another state and to share such joy with folks in the County I’ve lived in for 36 years!! I felt loved and embraced and I hope they felt the same from me! Kaiser Permanente was thrilled with my participation and I believe there will be more collaborations in the future! I’m very thankful I had this opportunity because a few months ago I never imagined that I’d be Thriving After 60 right here in my own backyard!

Framing the Caregiver Journey!

My Mom Doris would often say “that photo needs a frame” about the thousands of photos I’d show her from my many travels or of our fun adventures with family and friends. I inherited my photography hobby from Mom who even did a photography project of developing her own photos in her senior year of high school in 1947. When Mom was diagnosed with dementia in 2006, I began writing down and photographing almost everything because I wanted to save (and in many cases, savor) all the steps along the journey.

Sixteen years is a long time, but I believed that each phase of our journey should be framed in some way, shape or form. Some of the photos I loved of me and Mom I did put in a frame, but for other phases, especially when there was a stressful event, I would build a LEGO model to represent it since LEGO building was our favorite activity. It was incredibly helpful not only to build the event itself, but I’d also build strategies of how to handle the situation we were facing. Using that process of building events and strategies not only helped me and mom lessen our stress it also brought us lots of joy!

When Mom died on January 31, 2022, I began searching for some of the best photos which characterized the different phases of our journey. One of the photos of significance was Mom standing in front of the group home called Mamie’s Loving Care on the day I moved her from her non-assisted living apartment. The photo was significant because it marked the end of her ability to live alone. I wanted to frame that as a milestone to ensure I did not to let Mom’s decline lessen my resiliency or perseverance in our fight against this disease, it simply became a reminder to pour more love and joy into Mom.

I was already using LEGO Serious Play with family and professional caregivers and I began wondering what types of situations and events they would “frame” along their journeys. I also researched how resiliency and perseverance impact caregiver’s journeys. I started developing a program called “Frame Your Journey” in memory of Mom that would focus on Joy, Resilience and Perseverance and would conclude with a LEGO building exercise where the caregiver would build a segment of their journey onto a LEGO plate that would serve as the frame. I also wanted to encourage caregivers to continue to build segments along their journey by taking the previous build apart and building the new segment. For me, taking a LEGO model apart and building something else has always felt like therapy to me. It not only was a calming activity, it also allowed me to plan and prepare to be a better caregiver.

A few months ago my partner at Johns Hopkins asked me to give a presentation that recognized the resilience and perseverance of caregivers in their ElderPlus and Called to Care programs. I happily agreed to do that, but also suggested that to make the presentation interactive I wanted to end the event with a LEGO building exercise where participants would build a model that “Framed Their Journey” from whatever portion of the journey they wanted to focus on.

This week on Thursday February 9^th, five people gathered online and 15 people arrived in-person at Hopkins Bayview in Baltimore to Frame Their Journey. I was so excited because I’d been preparing for this day for weeks with my best friend Kris Lopez who worked tirelessly with me to assemble the kits and pack the little containers of assorted bricks. Each participant received a 10 x 10 inch LEGO plate, and those attending in person got to choose the color of their plate. Each in-person participant also received my Inspiration Kit with 47 LEGO pieces, a small container filled with bricks and there was a tub of  extra bricks on their tables to use to “frame their journey”. Those who registered to attend online were mailed a LEGO plate and my Inspiration kit in advance of the program.

After all my research, planning and preparation I had hoped that everyone would have a good time and feel supported. The day was extra special because Kris was going to be with me and would get to experience one of my presentations AND LEGO building for the very first time. She’s put together hundreds of my kits at this point but had never actually done any LEGO building!

Prior to the start of the event there were a few technical glitches in the conference room, but we didn’t let anything slow us down. We made quick adjustments and pressed on and the event was better than I could ever have imagined. Everyone said they loved the lecture portion of the event but then it was time for the interactive part of the session! For many in the room sitting in front of a LEGO plate in attempt to build something significant in their caregiving journey (good or bad) was a challenging task, BUT one that they embraced with great enthusiasm! During the 15 minutes they were given to build, participants looked at each other’s pieces, rummaged through the buckets of bricks on each table to find just that right piece and they traded pieces with each other too! Listening to those who were online working on their builds was really fun too and there was lots of laughter!!

When I announced that the building time had expired, the online participants were first to share their LEGO frames and the story of their journey. We all clapped and cheered as the stories were truly powerful. As those in the conference room began to share they were asked to stand near the camera to ensure those online would be able to see each Frame that was being shared! I’ve experienced great emotion in the rooms of my LEGO Serious Play sessions which typically has three rounds of building, but the Framing Your Journey session only has one building exercise about a significant part of someone’s life. There was lots of laughter and lots of tears too! The journeys that were framed included a young person who had cared for a sibling, caring for more than one parent or multiple relatives at the same time, those who had lost parents or a child and were finding their way without them, those who recognized the importance of meeting their loved one where they are in their dementia journey, those who built activities they do with their loved ones and even friends who were helping their friends care for family members. I loved the bricks they used – doors and windows to represent new opportunities and have doors opened to them to receive dementia education, flowers to represent love, growth and good times! They built bridges to illustrate how many people it takes to provide care for a loved one and the bridges they have to cross to get the services they need. Lots of people used the slanted LEGO pieces to represent the ups and downs of caregiving. Everyone clapped and supported each other as each participant went back to their seats. There were quite a few hugs exchanged too!

Almost everyone who participated mentioned how important the ElderPlus program was to them and those they care for, reinforcing for me in a huge way the importance of Support Groups and Programs and the role these programs play in allowing caregivers to persevere and find joy even under extremely challenging circumstances! Before the event was even half over I knew I was going to offer this program again! By yesterday afternoon I had already received requests for additional sessions!

The greatest joy of the day for me was having Kris with me on the ride to Baltimore, and to help with the room set up and for her to see what all her hard work of assembling LEGO kits actually results in! It was amazing listening to Kris explain her build since she’s the person in the room I know the best and I actually experienced with her much of the journey she shared!

If each of us had to Frame the Journey of our lives, I wonder what we’d each build. I’m so proud of this program because it’s one I built to honor my Mom and her love of family memories and photo frames! I unfortunately don’t have many pictures Mom took as she threw away thousands of photos as her dementia progressed because she no longer remembered who the people in the photos were, including me. Because of that experience I always encourage families to put treasured photos in a place where they will be safe so memories can be preserved. Even though I no longer have those photos, I can still build the important phases of our journey from my memory. So many people have supported me along my journey and as I continue on I will likely build a model that “frames” all of you and the love and support you’ve given me and the memories we’ve made along this journey through life! Sending you much love as you each continue along your journeys as well!

Unexpected Presents on an Unusual Birthday!

No one ever plans to attend a funeral on their birthday but that was how mine started today. For 36 years I was fortunate enough to live next door to Lois Jean Noe. Tim called her the Welcome Wagon because when we moved into our house in 1986 on our first Wedding Anniversary Lois showed up at our door with a basket of goodies including Tim’s fav chocolate chip cookies. Over the years we saw each other via yard work, snow shoveling, grocery shopping and many visits after illnesses and surgeries! I loved our talks at the mailbox, across the fence and at our kitchen tables. During Covid as she fell ill from a variety of issues I checked on her several times a week. She died at age 83 two days after Christmas. Today during the hour-long wake I replayed in my mind many of our hysterical memories including her attending a birthday party we had for our dogs Taurus and Bear complete with birthday hats and I smiled A LOT! Lois will truly be missed and I wouldn’t have missed her funeral for anything even if that meant going on my birthday.

I went right from the funeral to a hospital to see a dear friend who is critically ill. Now THAT was hard! We smiled, we held hands and we shared gentle hugs!! We laughed at the outrageously funny things we did while working and socializing together. Most importantly we shared how much our friendship meant to each other and how much we loved each other. We shed a few tears too as I left. I am thrilled I got to visit her and know what an incredible gift I had been given! She commented on how much joy I always brought to her and to others and I’m grateful that I brought her some joy today!

My last stop today took me down to Calvert County! Last year on my birthday Kendra Hofmann the middle daughter of my bestie Kris Lopez gave birth to a son they named Jaxon! But instead of the joyous moment we’d all been expecting, the devastating news came that Jaxon was stillborn and I cried for most of my birthday. Tonight, one year later we celebrated Jaxon’s heavenly birthday with tacos, balloons and a gorgeous cake. The fam sang happy birthday twice, once for me and once for Jaxon! There was even a peanut butter cake for me with LEGO cookie cutouts! Jaxon’s awesome brother Benj even sang a song about how much we all missed and loved him! It’s still so hard to believe we won’t get to watch Jaxon grow up and though there was definitely some sadness tonight there was lots of joy and laughter in the room too!!

Today was absolutely one of the most emotional birthdays I’ve ever had with three very different and very powerful circumstances! I didn’t get to see all the social media birthday wishes or open any of my cards until just now at the end of the day because I wanted to wait to celebrate. Today wasn’t about me getting cards and presents, it was about me BEING PRESENT with the people I love (or loved) and care about! I did shed a lot of tears today but I’ll be celebrating with my own fam later this week when my daughter and granddaughter cook a meal for me! They happily agreed to reschedule our planned dinner so I could be a GIFT / PRESENT for others today at a funeral and a hospital and a memorial family dinner! I’d like to avoid another day like today for a long time to come, but I truly believe that I was everywhere I was supposed to be today – holding a hand, giving a hug and eating a slice of heavenly birthday cake! I didn’t realize until I was driving home tonight how many gifts of love and joy I gave and received today and even through all the sadness and tears it sure did feel good to be PRESENT!

“Pura Vida” – Ten Glorious Days in Costa Rica!

Prior to getting on the plane on December 13th with my daughter Kim and my granddaughter Kendal (also known as the Adventure Girls) headed to Costa Rica I only knew the definition of the phrase Pura Vida (pronounced poo-rah vee-dah). Simply translated, it means “simple life” or “pure life”, but in Costa Rica, it is actually a way of life which I’m sure is the primary reason Costa Rica has been named one of the happiest countries in the world! Before we even landed I was amazed and very excited by some of the sights I could see from the plane!

As soon as we landed at Liberia Airport everyone began greeting us with the Pura Vida phase and I thought to myself “these folks are so nice”…. But it was so much more than that, as everyone seems to be really stress-free there too! Almost immediately I knew I was going to have an extraordinary vacation. Our first resort was called Rio Perdido in Guanacaste and it was the absolute PERFECT place to start our adventure! Our room was a very cozy bungalow, with an incredible double outside shower!! But it was the calmness of the property, the gorgeous open restaurant made primarily of wood, the walking trails and the thermal river that had three different water temperatures and was a mile in length. The coolest portion of the river was lukewarm and the hottest of the three springs was 117 degrees! It was impossible not to unwind and relax in that environment.

December 14th was Kendal’s birthday and we left the decision up to her what activity she wanted to do for the day. Surprisingly, she chose “no activity” and instead wanted us to stay all day on the thermal river and in the awesome resort pools which we happily did. She wanted quiet time too, so we all sat in our own spaces for more than an hour at the river and wrote and colored in our journals that Kim made for us prior to the trip. We had an awesome birthday celebration dinner that included a gorgeous cake that Kim ordered for Kendal in advance!

That time we spent at the thermal river was one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. Us hiking that mile together crossing over small rocks and huge boulders to get to the hot springs, and helping and encouraging each other when necessary and finding puma stones to rub on our skin was a very bonding family experience.

One of the activities that was available at Rio Perdido was Ziplining, BUT even though the huge canyon that the zip lines ran through was soooo beautiful with rushing water and huge rocks it was also were incredibly intimidating and terrifying. Throughout our time there we went back and forth about whether or not we were going to do the ziplining. On the very last day we decided we’d conquer our fears and do it!! I screamed and yelled with joy and several friends we made at the resort recorded us just as we had recorded them as they ziplined! I was terrified all the way up until it was time to start but as soon as we strapped on the equipment I felt fine and ready to tackle the adventure! We did 6 ziplines, and climbed up ladders to the next one and walked over two suspension bridges that swayed back and forth! I was so proud of myself for not letting my fear overcome my faith! That little figure in the pic over the boulders and about to soar over water is me and I’m moving so fast the pic is fuzzy!

Kim also did the tubing adventure on the property which Kendal and I couldn’t do because we can’t swim. Thankfully Kim was wearing my GoPro camera so we got to experience the adventure even though we weren’t there! We also did my first ever night tour where Kendal spotted and photographed more animals and stars than our tour guide!!

Our next location was three hours away in Monteverde where we stayed in a cloud forest at a resort called Senda!

One of the first things we noticed when we got there was the 20 degree drop in temperature and the strong winds! I even brought a new windbreaker to stay warm! We were literally on the top of the mountain and above some of the clouds. We went into town for lunch and shopping but enjoyed the property as well, especially off the beaten path where there were hidden benches and chairs all through the property where you could sit or swing and reflect without being interrupted.

We went on an extraordinary coffee and chocolate tour where we smelled, helped create, and then tasted both the coffee and the candy we made!! We had an incredible guide and loved the entire tour, especially the tasting at the end!

We also did a tour of the rainforest which was very informative and very serene! It also took us across 6 suspension bridges including one of the longest ones in all of Costa Rica!

We also did MORE Ziplining, across lines even higher and much longer than the ones in Rio Perdido. We enjoyed the experience in spite of the cold and the fierce winds! Interestingly I had an experience that I’m guessing I’ll never forget! With the fierce wind and the length of one of the lines, I didn’t weigh enough to make it all the way to the end of the line. We were shown in the instructional session how to turn around and pull ourselves back to the end using a hand over fist technique if necessary. I got stuck probably 100 yards from the end and immediately began the process we were taught. It took me 3 minutes to get myself to the end and thankfully everyone was yelling encouragement to me which definitely helped get me back. I learned that my upper body is a lot stronger than I thought and that I’m capable of doing anything I put my mind to!! I was beyond proud myself and got huge hugs from everyone in the group when I was finished!! The end of the ziplining adventure required that we rappel down to the ground which was terrifying for most of us, but we conquered that too!

By far the most incredible experience of the ten days was a dining experience in a treetop!! It was called San Lucas and I knew it was going to be special when our waitress showed up at the hotel with the driver to pick us up! It’s almost hard to describe but the restaurant was separated into glass rooms with doors that are literally up in the trees!! It was fantastic and I would have thought it was incredible even if the food was bad, BUT the nine courses of food were simply incredible and looked like works of art as it arrived at the table!! Kendal even got to paint a cookie for her dessert before eating it! It was one of the best experiences of our lives with a bonus sunset!

Our last stop of the trip was back near Guanacaste where we stayed in a huge luxury resort called Andaz! When we arrived I felt like we were in an episode of the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!! The lobby of the resort was literally outside covered by round spheres! The walking trails, pools and their private beach were all amazing!

It was definitely more luxury than I’m used to but we had a great time. We rented a car on December 20th to ride to a waterfall and hike in the volcano which was the activity I selected for the trip. The waterfall was awesome and though we never did actually hike through the National Park because we got lost it was the most fun and scenic lost journey we’d ever been on!! The rolling green mountains actually took our breath away in different places and Kim was a real trooper in keeping our vehicle on the road in spite of the sharp turns! At times it looked as if we were driving right through the clouds!

Kim’s birthday was on December 21st and we even got up early to enjoy the sunrise together on her special day!!

The staff left both a small cake in our room for Kim AND gave her a huge treat on December 22nd because we left the restaurant for a tour on the 21st before they could present it to her!! They really went all out at this resort! We went ATV riding to a waterfall on Kim’s birthday and met another group from Prince George’s County, Maryland! The ATV riding wasn’t our favorite activity and part of it required that we ride on roads with cars but we survived it!!

For our last full day of the trip we chose to stay and unwind at the resort beach and pools took a water taxi to another portion of the beach to enjoy some down time there too!! It was the absolute best way to end our extraordinary trip!

I didn’t see as many birds and animals as I had hoped, but the monkeys and the Costa Rica version of a raccoon were hysterically entertaining at the resorts and one even stole one of Kim’s croissants from my bag at the beach while Kim and Kendal were kayaking! Our ten day adventure was definitely a trip of a lifetime and I’ve made Pura Vida my mantra for 2023! The folks who live in Costa Rica have a very relaxed, simple way of looking at life. No worries, no fuss, no stress—Pura Vida to them means being thankful for what they have and not dwelling on the negative. I believe that living the Pura Vida life is the perfect compliment to my living with Joy!! With the loss of Mom and my Godson Bobby, 2022 was not a good year but I go into 2023 with great anticipation of a fabulous year with even more fun adventures! Very Thankful to Kim and Kendal for inviting me to tag along on their Costa Rice Adventure!

Many thanks to all of you who read my blog throughout 2022 and I hope you will stick around for what’s to come in 2023!! My friends I wish you all Pura Vida, Happy Kwanzaa and a very Happy and Healthy New Year! Much Love!

Feeling at Home in Nebraska and at Home Instead!

There were two reasons I had been anticipating my trip to Nebraska last week after booking it a couple of months ago! First, Nebraska was a state I’d never been to, and second it would give me the opportunity to spend some quality time with Home Instead’s Gerontologist and Caregiving Advocate Lakelyn Hogan Eichenberger. Lakelyn also happens to be the daughter of the Founders of the company and though she and I sit on the Care Advisory Board for HFC together we didn’t know each other that well. Lakelyn had explained that they wanted an inspiring presentation to recognize their Care Pros for National Caregivers month. Once I said I’d love to do the event Lakelyn asked if I’d be willing to come to Nebraska in person! I said yes before she even finished the question!

Working with Lakelyn planning the event was amazing! The design team polished up my slides, and working with the logistics and legal folks on the requirements for the events was as easy as could be! They handled every logistical detail for me and the day I arrived on Nov 8th Ginny picked me up at the airport and Lakelyn and Molly had dinner with me!

The next day was rehearsal day for the events we needed to record! While rehearsal may sound tedious it was sooo much fun thanks to the crew!! There was Kindra, the digital content guru and Austin and Andrew – two of the best producers I’ve ever worked with! We rehearsed recording tips for Care Pros, and a live event where we discussed the importance of play in caregiving and laughed a lot as we showed a variety of activities! There was also the main event of Care Pros using Humility Hope & Humor as they provide care which we briefly ran through.

I also got a tour of Home Instead Headquarters that included the best lunch spot ever called The Kitchen Table right inside the building!! Founder Paul Hogan had envisioned a lunch place where employees could sit and chat over great food just like at a family kitchen table!! I absolutely LOVED the chef, the food and the folks I chatted with over lunch! What an amazing experience!

After rehearsal there was still plenty of daylight left so I ventured off to the amazing and innovative Gene Leahy Mall, which is a park for kids, adults and dogs that has slides, things to climb and swing on, lay in, sit in and walk over!! It also had a sculpture garden, water throughout the mall, hammocks and fire pits! An interactive wall also changed graphics as people walked by!

The next day was the real event where the live activity session, and the recorded Humility, Hope and Humor presentation and short video clips were filmed! The sessions were awesome and Lakelyn and I had a blast doing show and tell with the activities! She even built a bridge as part of a very short LEGO Serious Play demo!

Home Instead was a place where I absolutely felt at home! From the receptionists in the lobby to the people we passed in the hallways, I felt as if everyone cared about me and wanted me to enjoy my time at their workplace and their city! I really didn’t want to leave!!

After a long but very invigorating day of filming Lakelyn took me to the house where her parents started Home Instead with her grandma and I was so grateful to see where it all began!!

After three days of travel and work it was time for more fun!! I was lucky enough to meet in person Todd Stubbendieck, the Nebraska State Director for AARP who I had done a virtual LEGO Serious Play event this summer and he came by the hotel to have coffee with me!! What a great guy he is and he even lived in DC for more than 20 years and worked in the Obama Administration!

Even though the temperature had dropped 30 degrees from the time I arrived on Tuesday, I was out and about and enjoyed the train museum called the Durham! I LOVED my time there and spent several hours including having a Diet Coke float at the old soda fountain! There were so many places to sit and relax that I even had two Zoom calls there about upcoming events where I could be alone and hold a professional meeting! That was so cool and I went right back to exploring when the calls were over!

I had the glorious opportunity on Saturday to meet in person Jessica Parrott, one of the other co-moderators of the UsAgainstAlz Facebook Support Group!! She lives about an hour from Omaha and suggested we go to their world famous Zoo, one of the top three in the entire US!! It was easy to see why they were top-rated because they had caves, a desert, a rainforest, an aquarium and of course the traditional zoo animals!! We got there when they opened and we’re almost there until closing!! It was incredible to meet and really get to know this amazing mom of two girls and former caregiver to her mom and grandma over a long lunch overlooking the rainforest! I could spend days with her and never grow tired.

On Sunday I spent the day reflecting on everything I had experienced and accomplished in my first five days in Omaha so I just chilled out in the gorgeous hotel I was staying in that had everything I needed to be perfectly happy!!

My last activity in Nebraska was to cross over the pedestrian bridge that allowed walkers to walk over the Missouri River between Nebraska and Iowa!! It was freezing cold so I walked fast and it was awesome!! I was so sad to leave on Monday and I think I left a little bit of myself in Nebraska!! Everything I saw and did and the people I met in person confirmed for me that even with all the hate going on in the world today there are some amazing people out there who are welcoming and loving and make you feel at home! Thank you Omaha and Home Instead! I can’t wait to visit again!

Feeling at Home in Nebraska and at Home Instead!

There were two reasons I had been anticipating my trip to Nebraska last week after booking it a couple of months ago! First, Nebraska was a state I’d never been to, and second it would give me the opportunity to spend some quality time with Home Instead’s Gerontologist and Caregiving Advocate Lakelyn Hogan Eichenberger. Lakelyn also happens to be the daughter of the Founders of the company and though she and I sit on the Care Advisory Board for HFC together we didn’t know each other that well. Lakelyn had explained that they wanted an inspiring presentation to recognize their Care Pros for National Caregivers month. Once I said I’d love to do the event Lakelyn asked if I’d be willing to come to Nebraska in person! I said yes before she even finished the question!

Working with Lakelyn planning the event was amazing! The design team polished up my slides, and working with the logistics and legal folks on the requirements for the events was as easy as could be! They handled every logistical detail for me and the day I arrived on Nov 8th Ginny picked me up at the airport and Lakelyn and Molly had dinner with me!

The next day was rehearsal day for the events we needed to record! While rehearsal may sound tedious it was sooo much fun thanks to the crew!! There was Kindra, the digital content guru and Austin and Andrew – two of the best producers I’ve ever worked with! We rehearsed recording tips for Care Pros, and a live event where we discussed the importance of play in caregiving and laughed a lot as we showed a variety of activities! There was also the main event of Care Pros using Humility Hope & Humor as they provide care which we briefly ran through.

I also got a tour of Home Instead Headquarters that included the best lunch spot ever called The Kitchen Table right inside the building!! Founder Paul Hogan had envisioned a lunch place where employees could sit and chat over great food just like at a family kitchen table!! I absolutely LOVED the chef, the food and the folks I chatted with over lunch! What an amazing experience!

After rehearsal there was still plenty of daylight left so I ventured off to the amazing and innovative Gene Leahy Mall, which is a park for kids, adults and dogs that has slides, things to climb and swing on, lay in, sit in and walk over!! It also had a sculpture garden, water throughout the mall, hammocks and fire pits! An interactive wall also changed graphics as people walked by!

The next day was the real event where the live activity session, and the recorded Humility, Hope and Humor presentation and short video clips were filmed! The sessions were awesome and Lakelyn and I had a blast doing show and tell with the activities! She even built a bridge as part of a very short LEGO Serious Play demo!

Home Instead was a place where I absolutely felt at home! From the receptionists in the lobby to the people we passed in the hallways, I felt as if everyone cared about me and wanted me to enjoy my time at their workplace and their city! I really didn’t want to leave!!

After a long but very invigorating day of filming Lakelyn took me to the house where her parents started Home Instead with her grandma and I was so grateful to see where it all began!!

After three days of travel and work it was time for more fun!! I was lucky enough to meet in person Todd Stubbendieck, the Nebraska State Director for AARP who I had done a virtual LEGO Serious Play event this summer and he came by the hotel to have coffee with me!! What a great guy he is and he even lived in DC for more than 20 years and worked in the Obama Administration!

Even though the temperature had dropped 30 degrees from the time I arrived on Tuesday, I was out and about and enjoyed the train museum called the Durham! I LOVED my time there and spent several hours including having a Diet Coke float at the old soda fountain! There were so many places to sit and relax that I even had two Zoom calls there about upcoming events where I could be alone and hold a professional meeting! That was so cool and I went right back to exploring when the calls were over!

I had the glorious opportunity on Saturday to meet in person Jessica Parrott, one of the other co-moderators of the UsAgainstAlz Facebook Support Group!! She lives about an hour from Omaha and suggested we go to their world famous Zoo, one of the top three in the entire US!! It was easy to see why they were top-rated because they had caves, a desert, a rainforest, an aquarium and of course the traditional zoo animals!! We got there when they opened and we’re almost there until closing!! It was incredible to meet and really get to know this amazing mom of two girls and former caregiver to her mom and grandma over a long lunch overlooking the rainforest! I could spend days with her and never grow tired.

On Sunday I spent the day reflecting on everything I had experienced and accomplished in my first five days in Omaha so I just chilled out in the gorgeous hotel I was staying in that had everything I needed to be perfectly happy!!

My last activity in Nebraska was to cross over the pedestrian bridge that allowed walkers to walk over the Missouri River between Nebraska and Iowa!! It was freezing cold so I walked fast and it was awesome!! I was so sad to leave on Monday and I think I left a little bit of myself in Nebraska!! Everything I saw and did and the people I met in person confirmed for me that even with all the hate going on in the world today there are some amazing people out there who are welcoming and loving and make you feel at home! Thank you Omaha and Home Instead! I can’t wait to visit again!

You Don’t Always Need a Plan, Just Go See It!!

After 20 days on the road in my RV for most of September. I didn’t think that there’d be much excitement in October but I was totally wrong. I had been looking forward to spending a couple of days in NYC with Anat Shabi, another LEGO Serious Play facilitator from London who I was thrilled to be meeting in person. Throughout Covid Anat had hosted Zoom Happy Hour calls on Fridays to help us to improve our facilitation skills while everything was shut down. Those sessions helped me to become the facilitator I am today. I’m so grateful for Anat and would never have missed this chance to meet and spend time with her! We didn’t have many plans for our time together, though I had snagged us tickets to MJ the Musical thanks to a connection with a young woman I’ve known since she was a kid who has a starring role in the show. I had thought that we would also get minifigures from the 5th Avenue LEGO store, but it’s the one thing we DIDN’T do!

I knew it was going to be a great weekend when on Thursday I reached out to my friend Kristen who had recently relocated to NY from DC where we went to church together, and asked if she had time to meet me on Friday for coffee or lunch. We opted for lunch and went on a long walk through Central Park, AND had a salad at Tavern on the Green!! How does THAT just happen that we walk in without reservations and got to sit in the garden??? That was sooooo much fun!!

Anat arrived late in the afternoon and we met for a walk and dinner as she allowed the jet lag to wear off! The next morning right before 6am I got a text from Anat that asked, “are you up for going to Roosevelt Island for the sunrise?” YES let’s go see it, I replied and off we went. I knew the city had a Tram but I’d certainly hadn’t been on it. We walked to the subway, got on the tram and saw the city from an incredible vantage point! Roosevelt Island was incredible! We walked to a lighthouse, a sanctuary, and then learned about Theodore Roosevelt’s Four Freedoms in a gorgeous park. We took incredible photos of the sun and clouds that could be posted in a museum!

As we left the park to head back to the hotel to get ready for Anat’s first Broadway show ever, we saw a ferry station. “Let’s go see how the ferry works” we decided. Just as we were reading the information, we saw the ferry coming and decided to grab tickets and jump on!! The ferry was as awesome as the Tram!! We couldn’t believe our luck! Our luck got even better with MJ the Musical because it was almost beyond words!! Anat said it was like being at a concert, and it absolutely was!! After it was over we waited outside for the stars to come out and took pics with my friend Kamille!! What a JOY it was watching this Julliard grad live into her dreams!

We then walked more in the evening, just to see stuff neither of us had ever seen before! We had a fabulous Mexican dinner and the walked some more!! Who KNEW that we’d walk more that night that I had ever walked since getting my Fitbit years ago – we walked 35,000 steps!!! But it was so much more than the steps, it was what we saw along the steps that was so amazing! After all that I thought on Sunday we’d sleep in a little later, but NOPE thankfully this time we went to the Highline to see the sunrise!

It’s a series of connected parks and walkways that were on old railroad tracks. I had no previous idea what the Highline was but was THRILLED that we went!! It did NOT disappoint!! WOW!! We LOVED it and walked and walked in the beautiful weather! As we got near Chelsea, I looked across the city and saw what looked to me like a dozen or so champagne glasses. I said “let’s go see” and we did!! It was MINDBLOWING!! It was a brand new park that opened in June! There were gorgeous outdoor seating for concerts, meditation areas, a musical type of playground, and views of the city that were indescribable! It was one of the greatest unplanned discoveries of my life!

I had to catch the train at 1pm on Sunday to Philadelphia but even so we still walked 20,000 steps that morning and saw things in nature that day that many people might miss, just because they weren’t sure what it was! When I got to Philadelphia, I met up with Mary, another speaker on dementia and caregiving who I had met in person once before. We were both speaking on Monday at a Caregiving Conference and were able to go see the Liberty Bell together and have a bite to eat before the festivities began! Still more unplanned greatness just because we decided to “go see something”. I was feeling so great because I walked or Ubered to everywhere I needed to be so I was stress-less.

I made some amazing connections during the conference and loved my time with two speakers Mary and Heather from The Speaker Lab! We all got new photos done from a professional photographer which were awesome!

I left the conference right after my session because I needed to be at a reception in DC by 7pm that was connected to Women and Alzheimer’s: The Empowerment Forum! I thoroughly enjoyed being at the rooftop reception and meeting people from pharmaceutical organizations who were sponsors of the Forum that I would never have met otherwise! The Forum itself was amazing and I had stayed in a hotel downtown instead of going home so I could totally enjoy myself! Letting other people drive you around, or walking to where you need to be is the best thing ever!

At the end of the Forum on Tuesday I finally went home and quickly got set up to give my presentation on Engaging Activities for Every Alzheimer’s Stage for Health Care Aides with SEIU Maryland! I’ve really love my connection with them because they are so eager to learn and it’s my first time providing training for Union personnel.

When I went to bed last night, I thought to myself, I am usually a very organized and planned person, YET for five days in a row I saw things I likely never would have seen even if we had planned some of it simply because we walked to see stuff even if we had no idea what we were in for!! What an exhilarating feeling it was and gave new meaning to the phrase “go with the flow”!!!

LEGO Bricks and Many Blessings Converge at a Clergy Conference!

I’ve often been asked HOW I became such great friends with quite a few Episcopal priests over the last couple of decades. My answer has always been that these are relationships that were meant to be and this week I added a few more of them to my list of friends! Spending two and a half days this week with a room full of clergy turned out to be one of the greatest Blessings of my life. When my dear friend / sister / retired priest Gayle Fisher Stewart told me several months ago that we’d been contracted to lead the Bishop and Clergy of the Episcopal Diocese of Missouri for their clergy conference using LEGO Serious Play, I was simultaneously terrified and thrilled! I was Terrified because it would be the first time I’d ever worked with a Bishop and group of Clergy and I needed to make some immediate changes to my schedule, and I was Thrilled because we’d be using LEGO bricks and it would be the first time I’d be officially working with Gayle! The theme of the conference was Building the Answers – Rest, Relationships and Renewal and we immediately got to work planning the event. I rearranged my schedule and made arrangements to drive my RV to St. Louis in order to attend my first RVing Women Convention being held in Iowa right after the clergy conference ended.

I met Gayle in St. Louis on September 12^th and we were able to take an awesome trip to the St. Louis Arch National Park! Riding in the tram to the top of the Arch was the perfect journey for us before we headed to the Pallottine Retreat and Conference Center. We arrived at the site and learned from the staff that all three boxes of LEGO bricks that we shipped in advance to St. Louis had been damaged in transit and upon closer examination revealed that some pieces of LEGO had actually fallen out of the boxes! As if God personally intervened in this situation, when we counted everything we had just enough packets of LEGO bricks, connectors and plates for the event! Amen!!

I knew how great an event this was going to be as soon as it was announced that we’d be starting the first session a few minutes late because Bishop Deon Johnson was taking his Mom home from an appointment! I thought to myself, “he’s a Caregiver”, and immediately loved him before I even met him!!

Gayle got the conference started in a truly lively way by having the entire group stand and dance the Cha Cha Slide! One Rector arrived a few minutes late to see the entire room of his colleagues dancing and after initially looking startled he put his things down and danced the last minute of the song with everyone else! This was a group of really special people who were engaged from the word Go!

In her presentations Gayle shared with the group 1) the different types of REST and that we need to ensure that we make time for all of them, 2) the importance of determining if RELATIONSHIPS in our lives need to be formed, renewed, strengthened or even discontinued AND 3) the value and importance of truth-telling.

The lessons that Gayle shared were intertwined with 6 LEGO building sessions. After I explained what LEGO Serious Play is and how it works, the entire group was given sealed packets containing the same 6 LEGO brick pieces and instructed to make a DUCK with those pieces without conferring with their colleagues. One of the most powerful lessons of the conference occurred when everyone saw how different all of the ducks were!! We took a group photo with the ducks and left them on display for the entire conference.

The duck exercise demonstrates how we may all understand the assignment but how we process and execute it can be vastly different because we are all different!

For the majority of the builds, the group was divided into “years” 1, 2 and 3 as outlined in their strategic plan and the building questions were created from the nine mission areas outlined in the plan. Each Year’s group were given three mission areas to build.

The last morning’s assignment was to create a LANDSCAPE of the Diocese. It was incredible to watch as the groups were tasked with reviewing all the builds they had created the previous day and to put the most important builds on two new tables and make “connections and relationships” that will help make those mission area builds a reality for the Diocese of Missouri. Watching the entire group of more than 40 clergy discuss, move, add and takeaway pieces and parts from the Diocese Landscape was truly exciting and energizing!! The group was fully engaged and there was teamwork, laughter, discussion, lots of truth telling and pure JOY!! Throughout the conference Gayle helped to photograph the incredible LEGO builds and added much insight from her clergy experiences to the reflections that occurred after each round of building!

The only sad part for me was that the conference had to end! There was a JOYFUL Eucharist full of love and music to send everyone home and lots of LEGO models and pieces went home with some very happy clergy too!! I gave Bishop Deon extra ducks and a box of LEGO bricks for his son and he plans to do lots of building with him!

We received many accolades about the sessions and how powerful the builds were. This conference made me realize that though this group was vastly different from the family and professional caregivers or those with dementia that I usually work with, all of these clergy are caring for entire congregations and that makes them very important caregivers too!! And just like everyone else I have used my kits with, the favorite piece in the kit during this conference was the LEGO heart!! When I got to my RV JOY to head to Iowa, someone had even left one of the pink LEGO hearts stuck in my door! What a wonderful way to affirm what I already felt, that Gayle and I had successfully delivered a very thought-provoking conference that was full of laughter, listening and love!

August Made All of My Wishes Come True!

I keep pinching myself to see if all the things that happened this month really happened!! I started the month in San Diego as part of a panel at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference where we discussed a LEGO Serious Play session I facilitated where we built our ideas on how a multidisciplinary team can eliminate barriers to Alzheimer’s care. That panel was a once in a lifetime experience for me! Then in the middle of the month I facilitated another LEGO Serious Play session for a different panel on the same Alzheimer’s Care topic, this time for an event that will be held in Washington, D.C in mid-September!

I was thrilled to do an in-person event for Arden Courts in Delaware, to hang out with Babbie who I hadn’t seen since a year before Covid arrived! We had a great time as I presented Engaging Activities for Every Alzheimer’s Stage, which was very well received by all the folks in attendance!

Then it was FINALLY time to head to Florida with the kids for the four-time Covid-cancelled Disney Cruise on their newest ship The Wish!! The almost three years of waiting for this cruise was more than worth it and the ship was simply spectacular in every way!! The photos of the ship, the excursions, the food and entertainment simply don’t do it justice! Me and the kids had a blast, even though I started the cruise in tears because I was missing Tim on this trip which he would have loved more than any of us since he was such a big kid at heart! We laughed so much on this trip as we watched shows on the ship, basked in the sun, floated on the water, pet dolphins and ate a LOT!! I totally understand now why some adults go on Disney cruises without any kids, because the adults-only areas are simply unbelievable both in decor and ambiance. I’m already planning for the next Disney Cruise because it was simply the most fun event on the planet! As a way to “relax” after the cruise, we spent a night at a Disney Resort and a day at Disney World’s Animal Kingdom!! Such a Fantastic time full of incredible memories!

After a very short 16 hours at home, I boarded a flight to St. Croix where I spent four awesome days with members of the Virgin Islands Family Caregiver Support Program! I was the speaker on Friday night and Saturday morning, BUT the true highlights for me were just hanging out with the awesome caregivers, some of whom I first met in 2016 just six weeks after Tim died. I wrote a blog about that experience called The Caregivers Cared for Me! This weekend too, though no one had died, I also felt cared for by these caregivers, because they listened intently and participated in both my presentations, AND they allowed themselves to be vulnerable enough with me to share their deeply personal stories about their caregiver roles! I had one on one time with many of them as we walked together, played in the water, and sat together before or after sessions or shared a meal. We laughed, we cried, we worked out, we played games, we danced, we hugged, we shared and we ate like there was no tomorrow. The weekend was all about taking a respite from caregiving – YET we certainly cared for each other. On Sunday morning, people shared what they loved about the weekend, and where they were on their caregiving journey. Some sang, some read poems, almost all thanked God for the caregiver’s group and it’s wonderful staff!! As people spoke, if they shed a few tears someone quickly went up to the podium with them to lend support. These are some of the most caring and grateful individuals I’ve ever met and my time with them is always Glorious! I took video of the testimonies of many of those who spoke on Sunday, which I’ll be watching on any days I’m feeling down!

I’ve been so busy today planning for a September that will be even more busy than August was but I couldn’t let the last day go by without writing about all my wishes coming true this month! You’ll have to wait until my September post to read all about everything that will be happening next month but I know it will be fun and will cover even more of my wishes coming true!! Doing a Disney cruise with my granddaughter was a huge Wish of mine, and I have always Wished for additional opportunities to see the Virgin Island Caregivers again – getting both those things at almost the same time was Incredible! My advice to us all is – Keep Wishing, you never know what will happen!